Sweet and Sour
by Settees-under-siege
Summary: **Cobert Valentine's Smut Exchange** What starts out as after-dinner drinks and casual conversation for Robert and Matthew, soon turns into a trip down memory lane for Robert while his terribly uncomfortable son-in-law suffers silently.


_Sorry for the delay. I may have got my laptop back but the hard drive was new so I have had to completely reset, reinstall and reorganise everything. Hope you like my chocolaty tale! Happy belated Valentine's Day everyone._

* * *

Robert Crawley, the Earl of Grantham and Matthew Crawley, his son-in-law and heir were sitting beside each other contentedly in the dining room as the night whittled away. After two glasses of scotch, the conversation had shifted from the tender subject of farming to Valentine's Day which was fast approaching.

"Do you have something special planned for Mary? It will be your first Valentine's Day together." Robert took a sip of scotch and examined his son in the opposite chair.

"Yes I do. I thought I would take her down to London for the weekend to see a show, have a romantic dinner and stay at a brand new hotel called Maxime. It has a French theme and she does love Paris so I hope she will like it very much," Matthew finished.

"I think your plan is a good one," Robert acknowledged. "It makes me think back on all my Valentine's Days with Cora over the years," he said dreamily. Matthew raised his eyebrows. He was quite sure he knew what was running through his cousins' head at this very moment.

"Oh yes?" Matthew replied cautiously, hoping that his cousin would not choose a story containing too much information.

"One year, I think it was 1896, Cora had planned a very elaborate surprise for me," Robert began. Matthew relaxed. This didn't sound too bad and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"She was up before me which was a huge surprise in itself as naturally she would usually wake up with me or after me and have her breakfast in bed. Wondering where she was and having not realized it was Valentine's Day in my sleepy state, I went into my dressing room where a note was waiting for me on my bed. It contained instructions in Cora's handwriting to go downstairs to my library desk and find another note with more information as soon as I was dressed."

"Let me guess, Mama lead you from place to place around the estate with a series of notes as a romantic game!" Matthew said eagerly, sitting up straight in his chair with interest.

"She did indeed," Robert confirmed. "And it took me the whole day to complete! It's a good thing I stopped for luncheon really and I never saw her once. I thought that when I finished finding the notes she would be waiting for me at the end with one final trick up her sleeve." Matthew flashed Robert a confused expression.

"I must say I am intrigued. What happened next?"

"The final note told me I had to go upstairs and change into my best tails and go for dinner and she wasn't there either! I was even more flabbergasted when Carson informed me that I was only allowed to have one course thanks to 'Her Ladyship giving me strict instructions. But you may choose the course you want My Lord.'" Robert cleared his throat and grimaced. No matter how hard he tried, he could never fully imitate Carson's startlingly deep voice. A laugh from Matthew refocused his attention.

"Oh dear! How awful for you," he chortled. He was having no difficulty imagining the look on Robert's face after being told he was to go on rations by his wife after a whole day of running around after her paper trail.

"It was really. I was feeling quite deflated by that point and Carson advised me to go back up to my dressing room for 'consolation'. I didn't pick up on the underlying meaning at the time. It wasn't until I had shut the door behind me in my dressing room when I found another note on my bed."

"Good grief," Matthew muttered. "This really _is_ elaborate." Robert smiled at Matthew's slack expression.

"As it happens, that was actually the final note. It told me to knock on her bedroom door three times and then wait so I did just that. She called me inside and the scene I found myself face to face with…" Robert's voice vanished as his eyes glazed over.

"Yes?" Matthew said, keen to learn the culmination of Cora's handiwork.

"She was lying on the bed completely in the nude and she had decorated herself with chocolates. The whole spectacle… I'm not doing this any justice," he sighed and sipped his drink in frustration.

Matthew was now openly gaping at Robert as his father-in-law sat in front of him, scotch in one hand and cigar in the other. Robert didn't seem to notice Matthew's discomfort as his mind wandered back to that deliciously sweet Valentine's evening.

"As I was saying," Robert continued, determined to attempt his description again.

* * *

He stood before Cora, entranced at what she had done to herself and their bed. She was sprawled on it stark naked, only she wasn't entirely naked at all. Chocolate love hearts littered various points of her body and a pan of melted chocolate sat on his side of the bed complete with spoon. Then he noticed even more chocolates around her head on the pillow and the beautiful red rose in her hair. His breath hitched in his throat as her eyes bore into his.

"Aren't you hungry darling?" she asked in her most sultry voice. Robert's speech had completely deserted him and he could only nod dumbly at her. The way her hair sprawled around her head and shoulders, the red rose that matched her lipstick, her aquamarine eyes; he wanted nothing more than to rush over to the bed and make love to her until dawn. But for one, he was still dressed and even more importantly, he didn't think he would be very popular with her if he made his move now.

"Robert?"

"Yes dear?" he said, jumping to attention.

"Why don't you put that staring to better use and come over here? This is where desert is," Cora sang.

"Whatever you say my love." Robert made his way over to his side of the bed and was about to hop on it when Cora interjected.

"Honestly Robert you are such a man," she pouted.

"What? Of course I am a man," Robert spluttered.

"That is what I just said. If you think you are getting on this bed in your tails then you can think again. I don't anticipate this being a clean meal darling," she winked.

"Oh," Robert breathed as understanding hit him. Without further hesitation, he began to eradicate himself of layers as his wife lay on the bed watching with great interest. Once the task had been accomplished he approached the bed again.

"May I ask what you have in mind for this?" Robert said and gestured to the melted chocolate in the pan. Cora waggled her eyebrows at him and then trained her gaze onto her body in answer.

"We let me put it this way darling, you aren't allowed to eat it straight out of the pan," Cora swooned.

Suddenly Robert was very worried. It was all too good to be true. Cora had created something beyond his wildest fantasies and he was dreading waking up to discover it was all a dream. Cora noted the change in his body language and felt immediately concerned for her husband. Perhaps she had overwhelmed him?

"Robert are you alright?" She reached out and touched his arm, careful not to knock any chocolates off her body. A slow, very wide grin emerged onto his face as he felt her touch. It was real. Every last detail of this was real! Turning to face her and snatching up the pan eagerly, he could not withhold his words.

"If this is a dream, please don't wake me up!" With that, he stirred the chocolate in the pan to make sure it was still sufficiently runny when he felt heat radiate up and hit his hand. It was still warm too.

"Oh Cora this is so marvelous," he said gleefully as he lifted the spoon out and watched a healthy trickle of dark substance run back into the pan. It smelled heavenly. Cora finally relaxed again and waited to see what he would do and she didn't have to wait long to find out.

"Oh my," she gasped. Robert had scooped up some chocolate and was now depositing it on her stomach, scraping some of it up higher towards her breasts. The feel of the warm chocolate, trickling so amiably over her skin made her shiver involuntarily. She watched it as it took on a life, and route, of its own partly thanks to the rise and fall of her chest. Robert could see that it was about to slither down her side and lunged to reclaim it, successfully stopping the escape with his tongue.

The sudden contact of her husband's tongue to the side of her body was nearly enough to send her into a haze then and there. She had spent the whole day dreaming of this evening after congratulating herself many times on her stroke of romantic genius and now, as his tongue pushed the chocolate back up and his lips pressed to her skin to suck it in, she was fighting just to think coherently.

"Ahhhhmmmmmygod." Robert noticed the tiny goose bumps on her skin as he passed over it and was emboldened. One of the chocolates she had placed on her body was balanced precariously on a nipple. Licking the last of the liquid chocolate off her he dived for his next helping of dessert and daintily picked it up off her nipple without even touching her. This allowed Cora to recover her senses a little and she now found him hovering above her, munching happily on a chocolate.

"Scrumptious," he informed her. "These are awfully good. But I think I ought to test the firmness of your chosen perch my dear." Cora cocked her head to one side at the gleam in his eye as he reached down and gently ran his thumb over her little pink nipple.

"Tsk tsk," Robert huffed. "That is too soft. Haven't I told you before that you must be sure your foundations are reliable before putting things on them?" He eyed her beadily.

"Ummm… yes?" Cora managed to reply.

"You don't sound very sure Lady Grantham. I guess I'll just have to show you what I mean." Capturing the nipple in his mouth he sucked hard and ran his teeth over it lightly until it was very firm indeed and delighted in her little moans of pleasure. Then he released her and substituted his hand in to mould her breast while his mouth kissed its way up to a chocolate sitting in the jut of her collarbone. Claiming the gold again he wolfed it down and utilized his spare hand to work his way onto her carefully while he grabbed a chocolate heart from the pillow.

"Open wide," he instructed and she did as he bid her, closing her eyes in anticipation of Robert feeding her the treat.

He simply couldn't resist. Leaning down he nibbled at her bright red bottom lip once, twice, three times before dropping the sweet into her mouth where she wasted no time in enjoying it. Her arms slipped around his neck as he moved almost right on top of her. They could both feel a couple of rogue chocolates anchored between them but it was not causing any discomfort and Cora's mind was elsewhere anyway. Pulling him in she puckered her luscious lips and began to kiss him, her tongue demanding entrance into his mouth. Robert obliged and opened for her and was immediately hit with a sugary high as his wife rubbed chocolate remnants onto his taste buds. He groaned into her and felt around for another chocolate, locating one beside her ear.

"More," he mumbled and broke apart from her with the little heart poised at the ready. Cora opened her mouth again but Robert had another idea. She heard a faint _crack_ and opened her eyes to find Robert holding half a chocolate while he blatantly gobbled down his half. She craned her neck and took it out of his fingers before he could be tempted to eat it and sought to reignite their kiss. Robert had no objections and this time started exploring her chocolaty filled interior before she could get back into his. It was only when the need for air became too great that they ceased their sweet dream. Robert shifted on his wife slightly and nearly slipped off of her. Apparently the chocolates that had been compressed between their bodies had melted and the friction of their movements was causing the most interesting sensations.

Both let out groans as Robert continued to move around. Lifting himself up a bit and happening upon a chocolate that had clearly fallen off of her, Robert used his magic on her again as he cleaned Cora of chocolate which was smeared all over her abdomen. His groin was already very tight and it yanked at him even more as he finally reached her bush. Cora wasted no time in spreading her legs for him and he carefully placed the chocolate over her entrance. Now it was Cora's turn to be concerned.

"I don't mean to pry dear but why have you put that there? You aren't going to…"

"No I am not going to do that," Robert said throatily. With that, he crunched into the chocolate and broke it down but did not swallow it. Latching on to her little pleasure spot he sucked and swirled. Cora jerked her hips as the sensual pleasure washed over her with more and more intensity. Little pieces of chocolate made contact as well as his lips and it was overpowering her so. Robert grasped her hips to steady himself as she teetered on the edge. Her voluptuousness was driving him so close to release now too. He had taken his time with the buildup, wanting to enjoy what she had created for him but he questioned how much longer he could hold on. Once again, Robert lingered above her as his attentions to her womanhood subsided briefly. She gave him one look over. His handsome face, chest biceps and manhood and returned her eyes to him imploringly.

"Please," she whispered. It was the final push.

They found a fast rhythm together as Robert gripped her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his back, clawing at it freely. He groaned at the feeling of her nails scrapping down his skin and it drove him to move faster and deeper within her.

"Oh God," he puffed out. "My beaut-iful wife. I l-love you!" he rasped.

"Robert," Cora whimpered. "Robert!"

Their actions were becoming frenzied and Robert felt the change in her. She began to clench around him and her heat was stifling to him. He had to hold on though; he had to wait for her. She had given him the best Valentine's Day ever and he knew she deserved to reach her climax so he kept up his motions despite his manhood trying to breach. She closed around him hard and yelled out, frozen in place as he finally gave in to his own ardent desires and thrust hard. It was such blissful release and relief. He keeled onto her, totally spent and took a few minutes to recover.

"That was saucy," Cora proclaimed as her breathing returned to normal. Robert nodded.

"Such a shame there aren't more chocolates." He rolled off of her and his back hit a cold metal object. Yelping in surprise he pulled back and looked over his shoulder at the pan of chocolate, noting that there was still plenty. Excitement shot through his veins as he regained some of his energy.

"Cora?"

"Mmmm?"

"We do still have this," he lifted the pan and passed it to her. A smile spread across over her features as she began to stir it tantalizingly in front of him. The second helping of dessert had arrived.

* * *

Robert leaned back in his chair with a contented sigh as images of Cora pouring chocolate onto him ran through his mind. He had already decided that he would have to replicate that glorious Valentine's Day with her this year and was quite put out by the knowledge that there was still a week to go but at least he had time to make further arrangements. As he sat and mulled over this he lifted his drink to his lips and his eyes fell on Matthew.

Matthew Crawley was sitting very rigid in his chair and his face a startling shade of crimson. His thoughts couldn't be further from Robert's. After enduring all of Robert's incredibly colourful descriptions, he wanted nothing more than to get out of the room and retreat to the safety of his dressing room as quickly as possible. He needed to calm down. Cursing inwardly he knew that when he came face to face with his mother-in-law he probably would not hold himself together very well and the mere thought embarrassed him. On this night, he had been subjected to every son-in-laws' worst nightmare and most frighteningly of all, he knew he would never be able to erase the memory tattooed on him. Sighing, he stood up, discarding his glass onto the table. Robert's brow creased.

"Are you quite well my dear chap?"

"Yes, quite well but alas, I think I may have drunk too much," Matthew floundered. He hoped Robert would accept this excuse for the colour of his face rather than the actual cause since the Earl had been well and truly engulfed by his story as he had told it.

"Well I should probably stop too, before I start saying things that could cause discomfort." Robert never saw the sour expression Matthew wore as he too, rose from his chair to rejoin the ladies.


End file.
